I’m not sure how it’s possible to show strength in my writings while still painting an honest picture about what I am going through so others with MS or similar illnesses know they are not alone. I’m not one that likes to whine and gripe about my symptoms, at least I hope I am not. I typically reserve talking about my every day battle with MS with a few select people, and I don’t even tell them everything.
Today is one of those days where I feel like I’m in a fog. The fatigue is literally impossible to fully explain and on days like today it feels like it completely takes over. I can’t even count the times I have had to go back and correct the few sentences that I have typed above, because I make such sloppy mistakes as a result of the exhaustion. I want to just sleep, and oddly enough at the same time I am restless so I just sit and wish I could do something, anything, productive while trying to keep my eyes open until it is finally time to go to bed. It’s almost like I envision it would be to walk through thick, waist deep mud, where every movement you try to make is a struggle but instead of it being just my body attempting to push forward, it’s my brain and just thinking takes up so much energy it’s difficult to connect thoughts. So I sit, in this fog, and hope when it starts to lift I have the energy to fight my way to the other side of this disease where I can start living a somewhat normal life again.