The Fog

I’m not sure how it’s possible to show strength in my writings while still painting an honest picture about what I am going through so others with MS or similar illnesses know they are not alone.  I’m not one that likes to whine and gripe about my symptoms, at least I hope I am not.  I typically reserve talking about my every day battle with MS with a few select people, and I don’t even tell them everything.

Today is one of those days where I feel like I’m in a fog.  The fatigue is literally impossible to fully explain and on days like today it feels like it completely takes over.  I can’t even count the times I have had to go back and correct the few sentences that I have typed above, because I make such sloppy mistakes as a result of the exhaustion.   I want to just sleep, and oddly enough at the same time I am restless so I just sit and wish I could do something, anything, productive while trying to keep my eyes open until it is finally time to go to bed.  It’s almost like I envision it would be to walk through thick, waist deep mud, where every movement you try to make is a struggle but instead of it being just my body attempting to push forward, it’s my brain and just thinking takes up so much energy it’s difficult to connect thoughts. So I sit, in this fog, and hope when it starts to lift I have the energy to fight my way to the other side of this disease where I can start living a somewhat normal life again.

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One thought on “The Fog

  1. “The Fog”. How apropos! I actually found myself one day, just sitting in my recliner, staring at my fish tank for about an hour. When I realized that’s what I was doing, I thought, “Wow… I’ve never been able to just sit and do nothing like that… to not have the energy to think, to not have the tv on in the background, no music…. just silence and staring and blankness.” It was peaceful, but also so disturbing because it was so unlike me. It’s such a very odd thing to get used to.

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